I hate hustle culture. It’s turned entrepreneurs into sales-addicted, social-media-obsessed fiends. But, as a woman, wife and mother, I know how important it is to make your own way and your own money.
Still, I want to fight back against it. Unlike my former business-self who hustle-hustle-hustled all the way to seemingly uncorking dormant chronic illness. (More likely: Chronic stress + ignoring your body’s signals = you may fuck yourself over. Not worth it.)
Unlike stereotypical Autistic over-thinking, structural and habitual-natured brain, the ADHD side is a rebel. Screw rules. Maybe even “screw that healthy boundary you set for yourself because it’ll curb success.”
I used to preach it, and I’m sure you’ve heard it often, too, but the key to growing anything is consistency. Got hit by a car? Dictate that shit and post it. For a time, quality didn’t matter as much as people not forgetting who you are and why you matter to them, or what you can offer them.
Inspired by something Brian said before his 40th birthday this past Friday, I wrote out a long essay meant for today. I was already prepared to knock down said necessary boundary I set for myself. Something meant to not only help me better time- and energy-manage, but to be able to balance my health, personal appointments, and family’s needs (because sadly my brand of health issues are often genetic… my poor kiddos). But also to balance other projects, writing for other publications, and posting these messages here, to you.
So, I’m saving that lengthy essay for another platform. I’ll give it time to breathe, my brain time to ruminate about it, and give the words time to marinate. Plus, lots, and lots and lots of editing….
So, yeah, my much-older-than-me (hehe) husband turned 40 on Friday. None of the plans I made panned out, but we did find a new-to-us, delicious and stylish restaurant that saved the evening—Hatch Cantina. If you’re a Celiac in Seattle, they’ve got you covered with a solid, “Colorado-Mex” menu satisfactory to even the pickiest eaters.
Anyhow, I’m exhausted most weekends, even over the summer when I took time off. My body and subconscious team up, and demand a break. I can’t seem to bring myself to even take care of household tasks sometimes. (At least I got around to that wilting Peace Lily behind my desk pictured in last week’s issue….)
I know rest is okay—no, no, it’s more than okay, it’s crucial! But it’s often hard to not feel guilt and shame over the time we do take off. Whether someone else makes us feel that way, or we do it to ourselves, or all the piling chores and tasks left undone inadvertently do the shaming for us.
So, I’m rearranging some things to work smarter. I looked at how I function, what days and what times of day work better for me, and so on. I also acknowledged that I don’t write (primarily) business-related content anymore: There’s no need for me to publish on a weekday.
I picture you—gorgeous as ever—lounging in your favorite spot. You’ve got a cup of coffee or another delicious hot beverage of choice, and you open your email client or the Substack app. Relaxed, you begin reading on Sunday morning, or get around to it on Sunday night… or later in the week or month—no judgment.
I don’t want these messages to potentially have to be a part of your weekly grind. Whether you view Sundays as an end to your week or a start, I want these messages to be a part of it. And I’m hopeful it’ll give me a chance to relax a bit more along with you over the weekends, and spend more quality time with my family... and get some reading done myself.
So, I’m changing things up. Life and Other Stories will grace your inbox or app starting Sunday next week (with a special message this Sunday, just because).
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being a subscriber. I appreciate you.
My best,
Sara
Some More Things
I’m finally on the last chapter of Unmasking Autism*. I wanted to inspire myself to pull away from melancholic musings and dabble more in lighthearted writing (while still being real, of course). So, although I have a teen and two preteens, and it seems geared more towards newer parents, I’ve had comedian Ellie Taylor’s book, My Child and Other Mistakes,* on my shelf since some point during the pandemic lockdowns. Now, it’s currently in my “Up Next” reading queue… which is now in two spots on my desk. (Who am I becoming?)
Seriously, I ask you: Who is this person?? Working with all this shit on my desk? But, everything has a home, so screw it. Even Marie Kondo lets her house get “a little messy” from time to time. (Funny how kids have that effect on you.)
New coffee-find alert! I’m trying more local coffee shops, as I’m yet again boycotting Starbucks for their treatment of employees and continued union-busting. Thankfully, another Fonté Café opened just down the street, I believe, early this year, and has become a nice spot for me to work from. It helps that their coffee is tasty. And if you’re ever in Seattle, you should try their house-made vanilla bean syrup—if you like a little sweetness. They sell beans online, too. (Not affiliated)
Did you know you can get books for free through GoodReads? I’m unsure why I didn’t think to share this sooner, but I’ve “won” a few digital copies here and there, so I know it’s not a bust if you’re willing to put some time into it.
P.S. I predominantly write from my personal experience as an Autistic person with ADHD, chronic illness, Anxiety, and more. Each of these factors can influence my individual experience overall, as well as my experience of each condition.
What I share is not a substitute for medical advice.
Self-identification of Autism and ADHD (what many call “self-diagnosis”) is perfectly valid. If a personal Autistic experience I write about resonates deeply with you, consider these resources on Embrace Autism (starting with the Autism Quotient Test) as a first step. If professional assessment is important to you or your life has been impeded enough that you may need to qualify for Disability, you can print your results to bring to a diagnostician. (Having all those tests completed in advance saved me a lot of money!) Although there are many more diagnosticians available, here is a comprehensive list to get you started.
Lastly, some of my opinions may have changed since I first wrote the piece that lead you here.
Comment with any questions, and I’ll respond as soon as I can.
If you could make one positive change to the way you work, what would you shift up? Explore long-hand, if you please, but consider if this is something you can actually implement for yourself—how could you do it? And how can you stay accountable? Write on, my friend.
It’s been a while, but I wanted to send a special thank you and shout out to my very first paying subscriber, Katya G. Thank you so much for your support. You are a vital part of keeping these messages coming. And why I’m so jazzed to resume consistency, and even set myself up better to do so. I appreciate you. 💝
Thank you to all the new paid-subscribers, too. I’ll do special callouts, if you’d like, in upcoming messages. You all are fabulous! Thanks so much for your contribution.
If you’re able to pitch in $1.25 per week, or even a one-time cost-of-a-cup-of-coffee, you’d make a huge difference in my work. Plus, paying subscribers get:
Full access to the Archives
Exclusive public post add-ons, including a Journal Prompt, bonus content, and more (sampled in this post)
Paid-subscriber-only monthly posts featuring a personal essay or short fiction, recommendations, insights, and more
Periodic paid-subscriber-only sneak peeks, available discounts and early access to completed projects, etc.
And a special “spotlight” feature, if you’re up for it
Thanks so much!
*Any product listed with an asterisk(*) behind it is an affiliate link. By using that link to purchase an item, you provide a small commission at no extra cost to you. Although small, these little income boosts help to keep Life and Other Stories going, as well as help fund any in-the-works projects. Thank you for your contribution! I’m grateful.
This newsletter comes out Sunday mornings (U.S.). You can help keep them coming by becoming a paid subscriber, buying my planner for professionals, buying me a “cup of coffee,” and even sharing and “Liking” this post helps, too.
I appreciate you whether you contribute a lot, a little, or even if you can’t right now. Thanks for being a subscriber, and thanks for reading.