What constitutes a “job” anyway?

"You don't have a job either."

The words stung. And the only reply that popped out of my mouth was, "But I have three kids, zero being teenagers—she has one sixteen year old."

He nodded and said, "Yeah, you're right," but my heart still hurt over what was likely a benign response to my curious question (which probably came across as a judgmental statement).

I was reading an Am I The Asshole (AITA) subreddit post. In it, a divorced and remarried mom of a teenager also had a stepdaughter, seemingly just a few months younger than her own.

The stepdaughter demanded a $60,000 car like her stepsister received from her wealthy father (the woman's ex-husband), when the woman's current husband earns just a little over the price tag of the car annually.

The woman was a homemaker in her first marriage, financially supported by her wealthy husband. And when they amicably divorced, the ex left her their large home and continued to support her. She later met and married her current husband who moved in with her, and her ex gifted them his stake in the paid-off house as a wedding gift.

The woman is now financially supported by her new husband who, quote: "earns significantly less than [her] ex, but it's enough for [them]."

My partner had just finished making dinner and passed me a plate across the counter where I was seated, reading said Reddit post. After getting to the part about the stepdaughter demanding the same car from her father and stepmother (otherwise she'd no longer speak to her father), I scoffed and said, "Let's never get divorced, okay?"

My husband teasingly sighed and said, "Well, okay."

The whole family chuckled, and my middle child asked why I said that. I explained the post, and before my brain had a chance to process the whip-fast thought before escaping my lips, I said, "I wonder why the [woman] never got a job, though."

And as fast as it leaked, my husband said, "You don't have a job either."

Photo credit: Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

One of the many things I love about my husband is that he always plays Devil's Advocate—giving the voiceless a voice, challenging ideas and statements.

But this "observation" stung for many reasons.

Although I know he meant no harm, and didn't know my question was based on curiosity and not judgment, the words cut deep.