Rest

An update, new ways of incorporating rest, and some entertainment recommendations for you.

Mar 28, 2023

Well, I survived anesthesia! Woohoo!

I mean, it’s roughly one in 200,000 people who don’t wake up after anesthesia.1 And this being my 12th surgery and 15th anesthesia, I figured I’d pull through. Still, waking up after is always a relief. Except for the whole getting woken up thing. I’m incredibly annoyed when I hear, “Sara, it’s time to wake up now. Come on, Sara. I know you’re sleepy, but you need to wake up.”

It’s like being a teenager all over again. I want to say, “Shut up! Just let me finish this dream!”

But I never get to.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Currently, rest is my priority.

I told my therapist the week before surgery that I don’t mind procedures. They force me to take a break. They excuse my brain from feeling guilt over watching movies and TV shows and YouTube all day because healing is my only job.

(Yes, I have to consider rest and healing a job to do it. Yes, that’s problematic.)

They also provide me with a break from responsibilities, some reprieve and alone time while waiting for a procedure. And some direct attention focused on my well-being, too. I wouldn’t like it long-term, but having nurses check in on me and seemingly prioritize my care is something I’m so grateful for. And I convey my appreciation for the work nurses do. It feels like a positive exchange all around.

But, even before surgery, I started incorporating rest more in my day-to-day to avoid meltdowns like what happened a few weeks ago. I pushed and pushed, and my bodily systems pushed back. And I lost. So did the people who love me who had to witness it and feel it, too.

How do you prioritize rest?

I’ve heard some say they schedule breaks throughout the day.

Even something simple like my one kiddo’s occupational therapist suggested I not bypass my Pomodoro timer app’s breaks because those brief moments away from the task can make a huge, positive difference.

She’s not a writer, though. When you’re on a roll (and you’re not neglecting feeding yourself, overall movement, or sleep), I don’t see why rolling with it is such a bad thing. Although, that just reveals how stubborn I am….

(The OT also said that using your non-dominant hand more often improves memory.2 I’m looking forward to that, too while my dominant hand heals.)

Other ways I’ll prioritize rest are by extending writing session times to avoid skipping breaks is one way I’ll incorporate rest more. Meaning, based on my current workflow, instead of 30-minute writing sessions where I skip the 5-minute break and just roll into another session, I’ll re-set the app to do 45 minute work sessions with no-skip 5-minute breaks.

Also, stopping when my body tells me it’s had enough is another important practice. My brain is the one I have to worry about. My body has always been the voice of reason, the “guiding light” I ignore because my brain can be a self-destructive jerk.

I also want to utilize 20 to 30-minute naps when I need them, as well. Today’s a nap sort of day. I’m exhausted. Sure, lying down isn’t the most comfortable thing right now. I have to keep my arm above my heart for almost a month, but the rest of me will benefit from a sprawl on the bed, at least. And that’s what matters.

So, how do you rest? How will you?

I’m usually one of those post-menopausal women who get worsening brain fog3 post-anesthesia.4 It sucks (hence all the guilt-free screen time I allow myself after surgery). But I knew what to expect this time, and I planned to give myself grace regardless.

I learned after Covid infection and two anesthesias—all within a 6-month span—how inflamed the brain gets after,56 and how that affects my ability to think and process. It sucks that it took almost 5 months to recover from that period of brain fog last year. Then, as soon as it lightens, I have a mast-cell flare and I’m right back to being inflamed and foggy. Then, as soon as I begin getting out of that, I have surgery….

However, this is the first post-menopausal, post-anesthesia experience where I've had zero (additional) brain fog after. I'd say there's definitely something to practicing with my non-dominant hand pre-surgery that might've lead to this more positive post-operative experience.

Anyhow, by prioritizing rest, I’m extending to myself a healthy dose of patience, healing, and kindness. And that’s the most I should be doing right now.

So, I'll give you a rest today too. In lieu of a long post this week, here are 10 things I thought you might find interesting or enjoyable in your own rest or downtime:

Watching The White Lotus on HBO Max. Although “late” to it, Brian and I binged its two seasons in three weeks. I find it more and more interesting in hindsight. It’s brilliantly written—seriously, the effortless social commentary and ability to infuse multiple belief and experiences in a fair, organic, and clever way, allowing us as viewers to gain perspective on different points of view has got the show still in the forefront of mind for me, even weeks later. It’s well-acted, the settings are sublime, the cinematography is incredible (just chill on the water lapping the camera shots, ya’ll); the characters are complex, and shows that even (some) terrible humans have good sides or soft spots.
I recently discovered powerhouse Kita Rose's YouTube Shorts. So far, I don’t agree with all of what she says, but the bulk of it is great. (The main one I disagreed with is essentially dropping every person who doesn’t come out and tell you they’re “going through something”/don’t pre-communicate s disappearance of sorts. For me, I view it as a two-way street. If I’m always reaching out and they never do, then I may let that relationship fizzle out. But if someone messages me after, say, a year of non-communication and tells me what happened, or they just want to reconnect (even no questions asked), I won’t drop them unless they’re toxic/harmful to me or my immediate family. People go through things all the time. Having comfortable relationships where we can pick up where we left off, even if it’s years later—without judgment—are just fine by me.)
Watching Shrinking on Apple TV+. I’m enjoying it. It wasn’t the hilarious comedy I thought it would be, but the dry-humor bits are fun, and I like the “humanness” of the show. Also, seeing Harrison Ford as a layered, funny, interesting old dude is a nice change of pace.
Absolutely loving the iWeigh podcast by Jameela Jamil. “A podcast against shame” that covers various topics. Frequent ones are on self-love, self-care, body positivity, and overcoming trauma, mis- and disinformation, and more. I highly recommend it for all women and gender non-conforming folks. But also for men from any background who respect women and ally with us.
Also, watching Abbott Elementary on HBO Max. It’s cute.
(Still) reading Unmasking Autism by Devon Price. I’m hopeful I’ll finish this during my recovery time (although it’s really difficult to hold open paper books right now), but it is exactly what the title says—a thoughtful guide to dropping the neurotypical camouflage for improved mental and physical health, and for elevated quality of life as autistic people.
I’m obsessed with dermatologist Dr. Dray’s YouTube Shorts and overall channel, as well.
Another winning podcast is Struggle Care by licensed therapist KC Davis. She’s a TikTok sensation for all the right reasons, and her podcast covers self-care, “mental health, care tasks, and more.”
(Okay, last show recc:) Finally, Ted Lasso is back on Apple TV+. Just two episodes in so far, but we’re enjoying it. (Although I think 3 seasons is a good stopping point for it.)
Reading Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives, an essay collection by Mary Laura Philpott. The Washington Post said of the book, “A beautifully wrought ode to life… a precious gift to the world.” This is my chaser to the heavier content I’m already reading. It’s funny and interesting, with plenty of life-takeaways to absorb along the way.

I appreciate you.

See you next week about truth, and how truth is the only thing that can actually hurt us (on an emotional level, that is).

My best,

Sara

P.S. I predominantly write from my personal experience as an Autistic person with ADHD, chronic illness, Anxiety, and more. Each of these factors can influence my individual experience overall, as well as my experience of each condition.

What I share is not a substitute for medical advice.

Self-identification of Autism and ADHD (what many call “self-diagnosis”) is perfectly valid. If a personal Autistic experience I write about resonates deeply with you, consider these resources on Embrace Autism (starting with the Autism Quotient Test) as a first step. If professional assessment is important to you or your life has been impeded enough that you may need to qualify for Disability, you can print your results to bring to a diagnostician. (Having all those tests completed in advance saved me a lot of money!) Although there are many more diagnosticians available, here is a comprehensive list to get you started.

Lastly, some of my opinions may have changed since I first wrote the piece that lead you here.

Comment with any questions, and I’ll respond as soon as I can.

Life and Other Stories

Discussion about this post