Six things
I’ve been sick for three weeks. Not fun.
Finally, I’m about to 90% of my norm, which, is really only 40% of my peak. But, I redefined my “100%”, simply calling my new normal of 40% “my norm” because that’s what I have to work with right now.
Just a slight, lingering cough is left with fatigue and brain fog. Brian’s got the cough. My older two have it, too. And Little—usually the second or third person in the family who falls ill with whatever bug our family contracts—is the last of us, presently experiencing the brunt of the illness. The cough rattles her lungs, clattering up her throat with every deeper breath. I encourage her to keep taking deep breaths to help get it out of her lungs, but she shies away like most sane people. Reason is difficult to argue when the thing someone needs to do hurts.
But, some might argue that worthwhile things always hurt on the road to the desired outcome.
Maybe the pain is coughing, or maybe it’s deeper than that.
Much has happened in the past three weeks, in addition to the illnesses and injury. I’ll discuss what’s appropriate to as things continue to unravel. But, in lieu of a longer essay today, I want to share six things I liked this week:
One.
I finished watching the supernatural medical drama, Saving Hope. It was an overall beautiful show that tore my heart out, yet placed it back gently and maybe with a little more fullness. Even during its more (sparse) draggy points in the overarching story, it reinforced how much power love in one’s life has and offers.
Saving Hope follows the love story of Doctors Alex Reid and Charlie Harris after their cab on the way to their wedding is involved in an accident, and Charlie slips into a coma. From there, his consciousness exists in ghost form in the hospital, Hope Zion, where they both work. The show follows several doctors and nurses, but their love story is the central focus.
Charlie sees ghosts, whether they’re actually dead people, comatose, or a prisoner in his own body who can transition back and forth. Between the medical patient stories, Charlie helping people either return to their bodies or pass onto the next phase, and the relationships and lives of the medical staff, I found it wholesome, and emotionally painful but not emotionally manipulative (I’m looking at shows like you, This Is Us), yet lovely. I recommend it.
Also, I’m rather surprised I haven’t seen actor Michael Shanks (Charlie Harris) in more mainstream movies and shows, outside the occasional guest role. He’s an immensely talented actor. Brian got me into SciFi—something I may never have tried without the encouragement of someone I trust (I don’t like reading science fiction—too flat of characters and rigid language, usually—so I just assumed all SciFi was like that). The first thing I’d ever seen Shanks in was Stargate: SG1. I liked that series, and, in my arguable opinion, Shanks carried the show.
(Yes, I totally stalked his acting credits on IMDB, and have added a few other shows to my Watchlist.)
Two.
Our local Autistic Meetup group, Square Pegs Seattle, facilitator Zack Siddeek conducted a webinar a couple of weeks ago “exploring the disparities in medical care for people with disabilities.” It’s called, Please Don’t Kill Me At My Next Appointment:
It’s not just a local matter, so check it out if you’re someone who has or suspects you have a disability of any kind, whether it be invisible or visible.
(I plan to actually finish it this weekend.)
Three.
As I’ll explain in an upcoming post, this year I’m focusing on getting to the root of my repeated failings. When you keep making the same-exact mistakes over and over again, and when you can’t consistently blame your neurology, it’s probably a good idea to excavate why.
(At least I think it is.)
Normally, I shy away from anything with religious under- or overtones. But after watching how beautifully Saving Hope showed deep respect for the bulk of commonly known spiritualities, beliefs and ideals, and even of those without capital-F Faith, I realized that a lot of my issues with organized religion were held unnecessarily close to my heart for the wrong reasons—generalizations that weren’t fair, frankly. I try not to judge anyone for their beliefs and practices, as long as it’s not harming others. Just as I respect you and yours, I only request that my boundaries are respected. But, I’d hardened myself to the point that any time wind of capital-G God was even hinted at, I’d turn away from it. This is a considerable topic that can’t be covered in a short snippet here, so I’ll skip ahead to my main point: There are plenty of lessons from religious texts that can be absorbed and utilized in a secular life, and I was missing out.
One book called The Pocket Pema Chöndrön* is a tiny (literally) collection of short inspirations from the Buddhist nun namesake. I’m trying to read one every day, and so far, they’ve been uplifting. Exactly what I need right now.
Four.
All right, I love makeup. Now, I’m gonna talk about it:
I’ve been wearing the tinted cream foundation Sneaky Balm by Salt New York for years. Normally, I wait until Black Friday to buy enough (of that, to be specific) makeup for the next 12 months. If I recall correctly, they sometimes run a BOGO sale on Black Friday, as well as other random sales throughout the year. Because my skin gets red from rosacea and a mast cell condition, I can go through four to six tins a month with daily use. (Used to be 8 to 10 before switching to this brush*.) Even with free tins from sales shopping, it’s the most expensive foundation I’ve ever consistently worn.
My skin is so dry, if I didn’t wear so much moisturizer, it would look like the surface of Mars: red, bumpy, and parched-looking. But, I put lots of time and money into keeping it looking and actually being hydrated and healthy; part of that for me is quality, silicone-free1 foundation (and skincare) to keep my skin protected, and to lock in hydration. Plus, I like looking polished—it’s my deal. About once or twice a year, I get frustrated with how much it costs (me, to be clear, as I also apply it to my neck and visible chest for tone consistency—my chest gets redder than my face does, too) and frustrated with the extra time it takes to apply perfectly; so, I’ll look for a back-up foundation that isn’t heavy, and is less shiny-looking than the Sneaky Balm. (Seriously, one morning, while taking the city bus with my preteen, it broke down, and we all had to get off and wait for the next one. I saw my reflection in the bus window as the sun blazoned over a building, and I was so shiny I looked wet. Normally, I don’t care—my skin feels great, that’s all I care about—but it was like I was trying to channel my inner Twilight vampire or something. It was a bit much. Mind you, it’s probably more the four layers of moisturizers beneath the sheer layer of tone-corrector, but still. It takes “you’re glowing!” to the next level.)
Last year I discovered LYS Triple Fix Serum Foundation, which is beautiful, but I can feel it on my face.
This year, I stumbled onto IDUN Minerals Liquid Norrsken Foundation* (I’m shade 203 Saga, for reference), and I don’t think I need to look any further.
I repeat: This photo was taken as a 10-hour wear check. It settled into my lines a bit, but they were easily tapped away with a Beauty Blender. My pinkness is showing through, but I don’t mind.
For my Sahara-dry skin, I didn’t need to powder* this. However, one day that I forgot which foundation I applied, I powdered it by accident with a large floofy brush*, and no makeup settled into lines.
I think I finally found my solid Number Two foundation for the days I want to spend less time on application, but maybe not for the long-haul days as it does wear off a bit (refer back to my pinky photo). It’s light, it applies nicely to my whole face with two pumps onto the back of my hand (and another two for my neck and chest), then pounced over my skin with a damp, wrung out and towel-squished Beauty Blender (best knock-off right here*—especially since they should be changed every three to five weeks for bacteria reasons).
Application Tip: Only apply foundation directly to areas of the face with no lines. Once you have a layer down, then pounce that all over, using just what’s leftover on the blender to apply to wrinkle-prone areas, like around the eyes, mouth, and forehead. I also avoid the area between the brows until the very end, but that’s namely because I can get a little flaky through there and makeup loves to cling to dry patches….
Five.
My shoulder weighted wrap* fell off the back of my office chair while Brian was sharing something with me. As to not be rude and fuss with it while he was talking, I picked it up and put it on my lap, intending to put it back on the chair after he left. But, immediately, I felt calm.
After a week of using it on my lap, I wondered if there was such a thing as a “lap weighted blanket.” Well, there is*. And it’s glorious.
Six.
“No one can expect, of course, to go through life without meeting discouragement and criticism, but every failure is more costly if it is accompanied by the implied message from outside, and the hidden belief within, that little more could have been expected. Those who move beyond discouragement are those who start out with a core of confidence and strength and who are lucky enough to continue to grow through environments that do not exploit the residual vulnerabilities everyone brings from childhood.” —Mary Catherine Bateson, Composing a Life*, From Strength to Strength (p., 37)
P.S. I predominantly write from my personal experience as an Autistic person with ADHD, chronic illness, Anxiety, and more. Each of these factors can influence my individual experience overall, as well as my experience of each condition.
What I share is not a substitute for medical advice.
Self-identification of Autism and ADHD (what many call “self-diagnosis”) is perfectly valid. If a personal Autistic experience I write about resonates deeply with you, consider these resources on Embrace Autism (starting with the Autism Quotient Test) as a first step. If professional assessment is important to you or your life has been impeded enough that you may need to qualify for Disability, you can print your results to bring to a diagnostician. (Having all those tests completed in advance saved me a lot of money!) Although there are many more diagnosticians available, here is a comprehensive list to get you started.
Lastly, some of my opinions may have changed since I first wrote the piece that lead you here.
Comment with any questions, and I’ll respond as soon as I can.
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“Silicones smooth over any rough patches and lock in moisture. So, while silicone-filled serums and moisturizers might make your face look and feel nice in the moment, they don’t contribute to the long-term health and improvement of your skin.” From 6 Reasons Why People Avoid Silicones in Skincare, Healthline. Personally, my skin breaks out hardcore when larger-molecule silicones are used in makeup and skincare products. Plus, it blocks quality ingredients even in the same formula from actually being absorbed by the skin. Why waste money for artificial, temporary “gains”?